Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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