Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
