Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sabs hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.

Fav 7 1952 1013
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"

Fav 13 3528 1056
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

Fav 29 779 3124
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving

Fav 21 5871 1149
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?

Fav 5 2006 870
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.

Fav 11 2500 886
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....

Fav 12 1197 647
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

(703): View more from Virginia

Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

Fav 0 875 575
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?

(651): View more from Minnesota

I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'

Fav 0 58 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT