hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
