Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
