he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
