the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
