I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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