that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
