garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
