I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
