it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
