Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
