I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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