Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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