Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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