I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
