something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
