ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
my penis made a compromise with my morals
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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