I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
