how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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