I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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