He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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