Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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