Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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