I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
