hell yes lets make some ravioli
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
