I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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