How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
