there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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