I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
