you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
