Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish I only lived at night.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
