so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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