hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
