Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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