you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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