i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
