; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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