He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
