office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
