And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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