This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
