you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
