I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
