Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
