singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
