He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
