this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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