She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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