I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
what day is it and did you see me today?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
